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Posts tagged ‘counselling’

Coping With Bereavement……….

My Cousins lost their Father recently as my Aunt lost her wonderful Husband. Yesterday, one of my closest friends in this world lost his Mum.

So having lost my own Father and knowing how it feels, I wanted to just add a post on bereavement and what help is out there.

My experience was one of the worst things I went through. For the first 3 months, I waited for his key to go through the door and for him to say hello to me. I longed for that until I realised it wasn’t going to happen ever again. I cried none stop for 2 years – on the train, walking in the street, I’d be buying something in a shop and I’d start crying. I just couldn’t stop. I’d wake up, be ok and then realise my Dad’s not here and then a sick feeling in my stomach would come in and that was it – I felt shit for the rest of that day. I couldn’t understand why everyone was saying sorry – what were they sorry for? I’d get angry and frustrated. I also lost a close friend, beautiful Tanzil, a month after my Father so I started having dreams that everyone was suddenly dying – friends, family, anyone. This freaked me out. I was numb for a very long time. It was a very strange 2 years but slowly and surely, I got over it.

We are lucky – in the days of the internet, there is an abundance of data available that can really console you. It’s a great start to read up on the bits below but I would also recommend talking to 1)someone who has been through a similar situation and know how it feels and what you go through – no offence but until you have lost someone close, you have no idea how it feels. 2) See some kind of a professional like a Counsellor or Healer who can just listen to your thoughts and feelings. Get it out into the open. I promise you they would have heard it all before. 3) spend sometime amongst nature – like in a park or by the sea either alone or with company and think of the good times you shared with that person.

Here are just a few good sources of info but there is so much more. I guarantee whatever you are feeling, someone somewhere has felt that too. We just don’t talk about it as much.

The Royal College of Psychiatrists

BUPA

BBC

MIND

We all die one day. No one is here to stay. But as I full well know, this is a really hard thing to deal with.

If you know someone who could benefit from this post, please forward it on.

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Your problems, your issues, and you

I see so many examples where people are going through stuff or have past stuff that they carry with them and don’t deal with. They even integrate it into their daily lives. This can even go onto destroy relationships because the other people around have to endure this.

So take a good look inside yourself. Do you have baggage? Old problems? Childhood stuff? Stuff you should have let go of or dealt with by now?

You have to deal with it. We live in times where there is a huge array of information around us and lots of help. The Internet has opened up a whole new pathway to information – use it.

1) Work out what your problems/issues are

2) Carry out as much research as you can on how you can heal yourself or sort the situation. Look on the Internet, talk to people, find books related to your subject and read them, get advice, join support groups where there are people who have been through your issue/problem before, get outside help like Counselling or see a Healer etc. Empower yourself with knowledge. Write things down if you need to, make a record of what you have learned.

3) Put it all into practice. Do what you need to to remedy yourself. Love, honor and respect yourself enough to want to do that for you.

4) Get on with your life and be happy.

It’s not a fair thing to do – to be a certain way because there is something hovering over you that you have not dealt with. It hurts you and the people around you. So come on, find your solution. Work towards it.

I am able to write this because I solved my problems. I liberated myself and I’m now really happy. You can be too.

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