My Cousins lost their Father recently as my Aunt lost her wonderful Husband. Yesterday, one of my closest friends in this world lost his Mum.
So having lost my own Father and knowing how it feels, I wanted to just add a post on bereavement and what help is out there.
My experience was one of the worst things I went through. For the first 3 months, I waited for his key to go through the door and for him to say hello to me. I longed for that until I realised it wasn’t going to happen ever again. I cried none stop for 2 years – on the train, walking in the street, I’d be buying something in a shop and I’d start crying. I just couldn’t stop. I’d wake up, be ok and then realise my Dad’s not here and then a sick feeling in my stomach would come in and that was it – I felt shit for the rest of that day. I couldn’t understand why everyone was saying sorry – what were they sorry for? I’d get angry and frustrated. I also lost a close friend, beautiful Tanzil, a month after my Father so I started having dreams that everyone was suddenly dying – friends, family, anyone. This freaked me out. I was numb for a very long time. It was a very strange 2 years but slowly and surely, I got over it.
We are lucky – in the days of the internet, there is an abundance of data available that can really console you. It’s a great start to read up on the bits below but I would also recommend talking to 1)someone who has been through a similar situation and know how it feels and what you go through – no offence but until you have lost someone close, you have no idea how it feels. 2) See some kind of a professional like a Counsellor or Healer who can just listen to your thoughts and feelings. Get it out into the open. I promise you they would have heard it all before. 3) spend sometime amongst nature – like in a park or by the sea either alone or with company and think of the good times you shared with that person.
Here are just a few good sources of info but there is so much more. I guarantee whatever you are feeling, someone somewhere has felt that too. We just don’t talk about it as much.
We all die one day. No one is here to stay. But as I full well know, this is a really hard thing to deal with.
If you know someone who could benefit from this post, please forward it on.