At the core of my Mum is a very kind, giving, helpful and generous woman who has been through a lot in her life. One thing she always says to us is this (in Punjabi but I will translate as best I can):
“You should never be responsible for putting pain or hurt in someone’s heart”
Your heart should be clean from this. You own your actions. Don’t do it.
It took me a while to fully comprehend what she was saying. It’s a beautiful thing if you can practice it as you are free of any malice towards anyone. It keeps you on the right side in a spiritual sense.
My Mum had many people along her journey in life who really tested her patience. Many who rubbed her up the wrong way. Many who lied, cheated and deceived her, mainly because she is quiet and probably what they saw as an easy target. Even so, she never retaliated. She kept quite. I used to think she was silly for letting people do that to her but now I see that two wrongs don’t make a right. She didn’t need to stoop to their level. She’s smart.
Another thing she always says is that “it takes 2 people to have an argument. If one is quiet, then there is no argument. Its just one person ranting.”
Again this is very true. If you are someone who rows a lot with a partner or sibling, try keeping quiet. Don’t fuel it. Walk away. No one gets hurt because no words are exchanged.